exams r over.
wee?
nah.
i'll pass that.
no sense of satisfaction derived from end of exams.
n no sense of happiness.
bet evry1 is feeling so.
read some of their blogs n found out there r actually a lot of unhappy mjc ppl out there.

today at 10am(i was stil slping).
guess wad?
my ex-supervisor from ntuc called asked when my hols r starting.
in other words she wanted me back to work.
despite telling her tt i was unable to work til march(the peak periods due to cny)
she was stil willing to welcome me back.
she said she wanted ppl for nov n dec, n i was a good choice.
lol
i suppose tt's like the only place i can go to work wout a degree in hand.
she needed ppl. or perhaps she needed me.
lol i wldnt deny i was a pretty good worker there.
haha cos i was owaes doing the admin work.
though i m hired as a cashier.
[hey!! no fair i shud b receiving her pay cheque then ;p]
actually i dun intend to return to ntuc tho the ppl there r reli nice.
but i wish to find other place to work, if i reli do decide to work during the hols.
hmm...
if i were to work out a mindmap on 'future-routes- i-wld-take-in-future',
woah...it's gonna b 1 big mindmap.
cos currently it wld b either i go ntuc to work n go poly or not work n remain in mjc(tt is if i do not get kicked out)
life sucks when ur choices suck.
n now, my choices suck.
both of them.
all on extreme ends, so if i choose either 1 the outcome wld b v different?
ok let's analyse the situation...

***

[work at ntuc n go poly]
boon:
1. less stress
2. i get to study a course tt i wld reli like n want
3. i will be happier
4. my social circle is greatly widened[n there will b a higher possibility of being attached...lol]
bane:
1. lower chance of getting in uni?
2. i might b stuck at ntuc FOREVER!...[NOOOO...!!]
3. a hole in my wallet cos i will have to buy new clothes constantly[cos there is no more uniform in poly!]
conclusion:
despite the fact that there are more advantages if i were to work at ntuc n go poly. the thought of being stuck at ntuc forever really turns me off. [whoops. ;p sorry but i dun wan to be a cashier forever, makes my hands rough n dry]
therefore i conclude there is a very low possibility that these two will come together.
possibility of choice:10%

[work at ntuc n remain in mjc]
boon:
1. i get to work n earn money. ($.$)
2. i wont have to leave my frens n teachers ;)
3. higher chances of making it into uni
bane:
1. it's gonna b a tough struggle for me in the nxt few yrs to come.[ i have to work extra hard to catch up]
2. i will stil b stuck with doing things that i have no interest in
conclusion:
though it may sound reli nice tt i can get the cash n stil have a chance of making it into uni, i must stil rmb that comes with studying reli hard as well. so there is stil a chance of me not entering uni. n wad happens if i dont make it pass A levs? wad wld become of me then? return to ntuc? dont sound tempting anymore. yuck.
possibility of choice: 10%

[not work anywhere, stay hm n prepare for the oncoming battle during the nxt yr in mjc]
boon:
1. very high chance of becoming the nxt smart kid in town =)
2. very high chance of passing my A levs n make it into uni
3. i get to remain in mjc where everyone is
bane:
1. no more money :(
2. i'm the nxt mugger kid in town
3. higher chances of getting depression[hey! i'm alrdy a depressed kid]
4. my social circles will stil b v small...wahaha
conclusion:
although the disadvantages outweighs the advantages, it is stil very possible that i might eventually choose this option. because my final destination wld b uni:Architecture! =D
possibility of choice: 40%

[work somewhere else n go poly]
boon:
1. my social circle is greatly widen by the ppl from my workplace n learning institute
2. i get the money n i get the course i want
3. i m relaxed=>lower chances of getting depression
bane:
1. i become a slacker...lol[hmm...tis shud b under the boon section]
2. leaving all my frens in mjc
conclusion:
very very alluring. not much of anything to add, really.
possibility of choice: 40%

***
there ends my mindmap session of my future.
stay tune to more.
currently i only have these few choices.
if not where else can i go? LASELLE?
ooohh...i have thought of that.
in fact tt was my dream institute when i was in pri sch.
but then i realise the cost of going into the sch too high le la!!!
poor ppl like me cant afford!! O.o
nvm...
all is stil good.

***

oh yes...an added reminder to all those who felt that they have not worked hard enough.
it's ok. because it's over. no point griefing over wad is lost.
initially i thought i din work hard enough.
but then again...wad is 'working hard enough'?
i felt i have tried though i dont think it was my best.
well, there will nvr come a point when we wld feel that we have done our best.
wad's most impt tt we have done better than the last time, we have tried harder than the last time.
n tt was wad i did. =)

***

the sound of the waves crashing upon the shore conceals my cries of agony [silent screams]